I question myself. I consider my philosophy, will it ever be well enough considered, thought out, to even begin to approach as self imposed guidelines. I find myself transgressing lines , straying for all of the right or wrong reasons. Call it growth, greed, survival, or simply progress along a line of ever changing circumstances and opinion. A learning process. No matter how I want to, is it even possible for me to have the knowledge so sustain what may end up as a mythical agenda?

What I want. I want to be the artist of my own choice. Assuming I am human, post-modern, and alive, I want to effectively express myself and my vision through a literal toolbox of media. I don't want to say, well, I'm a painter - but my real work is in digital art. Or sculpture. Performance. Whatever. I want people to understand the gut meaning behind my work, but if they don't, so be it. I hope in that case that they find meaning in their own gut.

I possess consistency. I am persistent in the acquisition of knowledge, of methods and ideas, knowledge enables my changing habits. Today I work with light. My projects over the last two years , the Interpolations Project, have all dealt with mood extremes and the effect of society on the individual. I can give you the reasons and inspirations for both the subject matter and the medium in a five minute blurb, but upon reflection of the work should you consider my circumstances, or your own?

I work within myself. I take the criticism of others, digest it, swallowing only those pieces making sense in a way important to me personally. Most I spit out like a bad taste. If I wanted to work for someone, to follow orders and take directions this isn't the path I would have chosen. If I become famous I will rewrite this and graciously thank those under whose guidance I became what I am. Until then, I'm on my own and I may as well enjoy the ride.

Sometimes people inspire me with their thoughts and desires. Sometimes they frighten me. Most times they bore me with their analytical pigeonholing of who we are, where we are placed, what we deserve. More people need to spend more time in thought, carefully considering their actions and the resulting consequences. While it's not my job to judge or dictate others, it is important for me to reflect and compare my own thoughts with differing opinions, and portray my conclusions in my work. My Interpolations Project has been my attempt to portray personality in a postmodern, digital manner. Separated into electrical pulses and impulses, coarse and beautiful. Personalities absorbing, personalities adjusting, personalities rejecting and responding. Human in essence. yet taking into account what programs us, motivates us. Myself - and in extension - us. Where there is one question, there are thousands. Just Google it, discover you're lack of uniqueness. Art is repetition with an occasional new take on the same old story. I only try to lose myself in that vision, make it personal. Whatever that really is.

Do I even want to be part of the art world? With its boxing and categorizing. Do I want to be poked and prodded, in turn courageous and reluctant? Do I want to slog through the mud that sticks to so many, weighing their vision by necessity. Some days I want to get out and show them, conquer, many more days I want to roll into a ball and sleep. Some days I do something else.

So this is today's artist statement. I know it's not flattering. Only honest. And kind of discouraging.

Perhaps I will have a better outlook tomorrow.